2013 brought a flood of changes for the Neitzey family. There was change and growth in my professional life, the fruit of God's blessing on us, as well as with our family. There were some painful lows along the way but those seemed to draw us closer together. The Lord sustained us and encouraged us, helping us to learn to be sober minded and focus on what is right.
The wife and I had a blast partying in the new year at the
end of 2012. We had never been to a
genuine, no-holds barred new year's party.
It's always been lame church activities or low key family hangouts. So this was a first and it was fun! While we sat in the quiet of our home on the
first day of the year enjoy the quietness, because the kids were at their
grandparents still, our beloved family pet, Max, started to shake and
froth.
We thought for sure he was choking and it wasn't going
well. But this subsided on our way to
the animal hospital. This was the first
of a series of seizures which would intensify over the coming days. After trying anti-seizure medication for over
a week, he was quite nearly catatonic: and still seizing. We finally acknowledged it was time to throw
in the towel and relieve the poor animal from his groaning and travailing. The ladies and I gently loaded him into the
van for one last drive. The station
which promises to be "positive and encouraging" only made the moment
harder by playing the ridiculously sad song "Hallelujah".
While enormously difficult for the whole family, we were at
least together. We cried together and
comforted each other. We got Maximus as
a puppy just over nine years before. He
grew up with our kids and kept watch over us day and night. He was incredibly loving and patient with our
own kids and intensely fierce towards anyone of whom he was suspicious. I didn't realize how much his presence set my
mind at ease while I was gone to work during the days until he was gone.
It was good for the kids to suffer this loss. It had to happen sometime; they had to be
introduced to the unyielding and dispassionate reality of Death. Death is sure, taking the righteous and the
wicked; even the creation is not safe from its cold grip, but is ever in a state
of decay until at last the entire creation will be no more. His passing seemed
to herald a more general passing that would be coming through the following
year. Our kids cannot remember a time
before we had him and now, as even your youngest child was on the verge of
adolescence, he passed. The coming year
would see the passing of all childhoods in our home. There was no specific point in time where we
could say it happened, but it happened, every day through imperceptible
changes, each of our children have miraculously morphed into a young man and
young ladies.
Fresh on the heels of this blow, my boss at work, whom I
much admired and enjoyed working with, resigned. Big changes had already been brewing and this
was just the next domino in a series of dominos. After a season of prayer and fasting, I was
convinced that I needed to stay the course for the time. I already had in mind to leave the company in
the spring, in search of something more suitable for long term employment, so I
resolved to stay with that track. Just
after the Lord confirmed this decision, my old boss from WSD offered me a
position and an exciting vision. He intended
to build a section of developers to ramp up the mountain work that needed to be
done. This seemed perfect and I was
excited to return "home". But
he made clear that the process would take time, so I hung on at my current
company, trying to weather the ever increasing chaos.
Also during this season, in the dull and ever frozen winter,
Daniel persevered through what would end up being his final wrestling
season. He put in seven years of grueling
and often humbling work. He learned to
steel himself and to fight; to not quit and to not be afraid. This last season bore fruit through an
undefeated JV season. Technically he had
one loss, to the varsity kid on his own team who was in a JV tournament for extra
practice. He got to wrestle one varsity
match, against the toughest team they faced all season. He was dominant in this match but made one
mistake which cost him the match. At the
end of the season he was awarded with a varsity letter for his exemplary accomplishment.
His final tournament was a National tournament.
To make weight he had to lose over 10 lbs! To do this he sat in a sauna and we did some
boxing drills. He made weight but the
next day was too fatigued to do his best.
It was a lackluster finish to a great, though often frustrated,
career. Well before this, he was tired
of wrestling and preferred to focus on academics. We already miss watching our little Mat Rat!
In the glum and dreary days that proceeded, I had finished
researching dog breeds and breeders. By
Valentine's Day it was time to pick him up!
People, you see, can never be replaced in our lives. But the role of 'family dog' is not the role
of a person, but a job to be filled by a dog.
We missed Max, but even more my mind was not at ease just at the lack of
a dog. So the wife and I travelled to
Fulton in mid-February and picked up our newest family member: Leonidas. Leo, for short: the Boarboel. Leonidas, the new front line of family
protection. Winter did bring one fun
event. A major snowstorm passed through,
leaving several feet of snow in all the drifts.
The girls and I and our neighbor, Napoleon, spent most of an afternoon
building a full-sized igloo. It was so large
that the whole family could sit in it!
We put some lights in it at night and had a little 'dance party'. Some photos of it even made it into the local
news!
Winter slowly gave way to spring, with the constant
interruption of arctic blasts. They
seemed to come like the lapping of waves against the beech as the tide fleas
out to the sea, finally leaving us with warmth.
It even snowed on my birthday at the beginning of May. But there was one major blessing during this
time: the birth of my new nephew, Kaden! He was very healthy at birth and even
sported biceps already.
The weeks prior to my birthday were quite tumultuous at
work. The job offer which was made at
the beginning of January still had not come to fruition. I had gone through the Byzantine process of
waiting for the position to be created and then posted; for sufficient candidates
to have applied and been interviewed; to be interviewed myself and then have my
background vetted; to receive an offer and then make a counter-offer.
By the beginning of April I had released the pack of
recruiters who were licking their chops to place me somewhere. While the City lollygagged, I had missed the
bar on promising position at a friend’s company. By the middle of April, as I was awaiting counter
offer from the City, I explored another opportunity. These two ran in tandem and it turned into a
bit of a bidding war. I agonized over
the decision, feeling the choice was between my future and my friends. In the end, after getting counsel from some
unexpected places, I saw what I needed to do and had to renege on accepting a
position with the City. This hurt one of
my best friendships, but only for a short while. So I started this new job on my
birthday. After a short two weeks of frenetic
activity at the old place, I was ready for the new place and I loved it right away. But really- a snow storm?! The wife and I ate at Fud, since I was still
vegan at this point, and we loved it.
The snow melted quick enough; the puppy grew at a ridiculous
rate; the kids wrapped up school and the wife and I celebrated our 18th
anniversary with a nice meal of modern sushi.
My dad and his wife came out over Memorial Day weekend to visit my new
nephew and celebrate Rebekah's birthday.
Her birthday was a bit awkward in one regard, because my sister in law
and her husband had separated. He
decided to show up for part of the party. In June I had my hernia repaired and
began the agonizing, eternal process of recuperating. It was nice to have health insurance
again! The boy was also able to get some
much needed physical therapy for his hip to recover from a wrestling injury
that was now three years old.
This down-time gave me the opportunity to shore up plans for
a whirlwind family vacation over the 4th of July weekend. An opportunity for us to host a high school
student opened up for us, as well.
Ignacio arrived from Spain on his birthday in late June and a few days
later we were crammed into the van for one last road trip to Leesburg, Va.
We drove all through the night and arrived safely at my
sister Jen's huge and beautiful home.
The first day we just crashed; the second day we adventured into DC and
visited the Smithsonian Natural Science museum, camped outside in the National
Mall and watched fireworks over the Washington (phallic) monument.
We took another day
of rest and visited historic old towne Leesburg. The next morning we were off to Gettysburg
for the grand finale of our trip: the hugest battlefield reenactment of our times! I greatly enjoyed watched the troops marshal
to their positions. Square streams of
men, moving in unison and each square crowned by glimmering steel spikes,
moving to the sound of fief and drum, would arrange in rows to present their
arms and fire. Speeches were given as
sweat poured from the mock troops and dust kicked up by boots, hooves and
wheels coated everything like a veil. This
martial symphony shook the ground and filled the air, as did the smell of gun
smoke, horses and dust. Oppressive heat
and humidity completed the stage perfectly for an hour long cannonade followed
by thousands of actors charging the mock-battlefield. Although the family generally resisted the
idea of doing this, we all shared a sense of awe at the scale and reality of
this show. From there we returned home
in what was one of the most brutal and exhausting travel experiences of m life. We were so glad to make it home!
Our Spanish guest was quiet but he seemed to be eating up the
familial atmosphere. There was some
moderate tension between him and our son, which was disappointing, but they
sincerely tried to work things out. They
got a bit of break for one week while Daniel went to law camp at Washburn. He absolutely loved it . Ignacio really seemed to enjoy cooking with
me. On Ignacio's last night with us, we
prepared an entire table full of tapas, as best we could, and had an excellent
time together by the fire on an unseasonably cool July night. The next day as he left, my wife saw tears in
his eyes. We were glad to know the time
meant something to him too.
During June we also wrapped up another swim season. The gap between our own kids and the ones
that swim year round became more apparent, but it was still mostly for
fun. Rebekah continued to improve at the
IM. Next year will hopefully be a bit
better since the girls will be at the older end of their brackets.
Our security team at church took a big step this
summer. In June we had our first training
session with a pro. This ended with
pepper spray training which horrendous.
But it really surprised me how this built trust and camaraderie between
all of our guards. At least the ones
that participated. We had a follow up a
couple months later to learn how to use baton and another one just for fun,
using basic grappling techniques to restrain a person. We have come a long ways from the days of
just hanging out aimlessly on the front stoop.
We got some more good news this summer as my other sister in
law announced her pregnancy. Later we'd
find out it's a little girl. It will be
exciting to have another little one in our midst!
The beginning of August meant preparing for life as
normal. Swim season was over and our
guest was gone; Judo and violin lessons started up in earnest; and as the kids
began school so did the puppy. The
honeymoon phase of work was over and it became increasingly difficult to adjust
to the ridiculously unnecessary complexity of our systems as well as one of the
more challenging personalities. But
God's grace was sufficient and by October things seemed like they were starting
to "click" for me at work.
As summer frivolity faded, a new reality entered the
family. My sister in law's divorce was
final. Even now, as he has taken a new
woman with the intent to marry, and has every appearance of an adulterous
relationship, it is proving to be rough to navigate at times.
At the end of September, I got to take Elisa to the Walnut
Valley Festival for a couple of days.
She performed beautifully in the fiddling competition and it was such an
interesting place. But most of all I
enjoyed spending the time with my almost grown up little girl and watching her
do something she truly excels at. She
also has been very consistent in taking Judo and fought in a couple of
tournaments this fall. It hasn't clicked
for her yet but she really seems to enjoy it, so I'm sure it will come.
Throughout the late summer and fall Rebekah and I ran about
twice a week. Often we ran on the trail
in the woods which is very challenging but fun.
She really progressed: she was barely able to finish two miles of flat,
paved trail at 12 min/mile and at the best point we were running 5k's, of rough
trail, at less than 10 min/mile. We've
had a hard time being consistent with the onset of winter, but we're trying.
By November, Leo and I graduated from obedience
training. He is now able to recall, at a
distance, and go down on recall. He's
also able to sit and to heel, and when he's been practicing, is pretty fluid
with all of his commands. But despite
his size, he had not yet developed enough of an adult nature to do any
protection work. So that will have to
wait to next year. In the end I think I
learned more about myself as a leader and coach than the dog did about
obedience. Although I found it to be
often humbling, I am grateful for the opportunity to improve in such a critical
part of my life.
The really cold weather returned just ahead of the
holidays. Despite being down one family member,
we had a great time. My wife's family
came up from New Orleans and we had an awesome time visiting with her family
for days, cooking and touring parts of KC even we don't get to often. The week following, the wife and I headed to
Smithville and Lathrop for a day of CCW training. A few weeks before this we spent a day
shopping for an appropriate tool for this task and settled on a Beretta
Nano. She really took to this and soon
selected a holster and started doing trigger control and drawing drills on her
own. As of this New Year we are still
awaiting the final callback to approve our 00 licenses.
It was a short time
until Christmas. We barely got gifts in
time (my wife's gift was still on order!) and didn't even decorate. Except for Rebekah, who really stepped up and
set up tree. She deserves a special elf
award or something. In fact both of my
daughters put in a phenomenal amount of work to help me repaint the basement
over a few nights! That next weekend we
enjoyed a LOTR marathon with some close friends.
We spent New Year's Eve with some close friends, for a
low-key family. It was a less exciting
way to end the year, but after this year I ready for some calmness. Now we get a few days of rest and
contemplation for the days ahead. The
river of time looks to be just as rough ahead as it was behind, but I know that
our God is good: everything will be fine and we are just along for the
ride. I am a leaf upon the wind.
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