SERCKS ER GRERT!

Mmmmmm socks.  Is there anything more delicious than pair of freshly-worn socks?  I hardly think so!  Or least our dog hardly thinks so.

Leo the puppy, weighing in at a solid 120lbs now, has been able to slip down an entire sock for a while now.  We first noticed the phenomenon late last summer.  Sometimes it's a small wash cloth or a hair scrunchee, but usually it's a sock.

Yesterday he apparently found a buffet of smelly foot coverings and really went to town.  He yaked up two of them by the evening and then kept trying to cough something else up.  This was worse than cousin Eddie's dog yaking on a bone under the table during Christmas dinner: it produced puddles of vile, oozy stomach liquids.  After consulting with a vet and giving him a dose of peroxide, he finally calmed down a bit.

My wife weathered the night on the couch so she could tend to the silly beast and mop up whatever he produced.  (Thank God for her!  I suck at dealing with noxious fluids!  Oh and compassion, I suck at that too.  If it's even a thing *eye roll*).  At about 4AM his heaving even woke me up-all the way in the bedroom with an air purifier on for white noise, for crying out loud!  So I did the dutiful thing and went to see what the hubbub was all about.

He had finally coughed up a big chunk of bone.  Not his own bone, mind you.  How would that even work!  No no, part of a cow bone.  Like a two-golf-ball-sized chunk of bone with some kinda sharp ridges.  It seems he had gnawed this off of the cow femur we had gifted him in celebration of the Day of Christ's Mass some days prior.

One barium cocktail and two x-rays later, the vet had discovered a mass  (this is vet speak for "sock") in his stomach which, so far, is moving it's way through Leo's GI tract.  Hopefully it finds it's way out on it's own, bringing an end to this wretched saga.  But mostly avoiding a costly surgical procedure.  Ah, but I repeat myself!

Update  The vet called this morning to tell us that the mass had passed and Leo's plumbingis back to operational!  Also his bleeding has calmed down and he hasn't thrown up any more.  Phew!  He'll get to come home later this afternoon, in exchange for a small pile of cash.  At least we don't have to muck around with Obamacare for this.  This time!

2013 In Review

So it's been two full years since I've blogged anything?!  Wow, how time flies!  Well this time last year I wasn't feeling particularly bloggy or retrospective.  You'll see why below.  The process of preparing this has rekindled some interest, though; especially seeing how ridiculous Facebook can be.  So maybe I'll do this blog thing a bit more.  We'll see.  And now I present: 2013 in review.

2011 In Review

After taking the year off, this year it was definitely time to reflect on the past year and prognosticate the upcoming one, like the double-faced Roman God Janus, for whom the month of January is named after.   I've seemed to be a bit more ADD this year, so in celebration of my briefer attention span, my post this year is less verbose and more snippets.  What a wild ride this year was!

2011

new years day in india with my awesome wife.

black spots in toe-nails for a month

Visiting with and praying for families in mumbai.  nalosapora. pastor abraham's village.

riding atop a truck, up and down the mountain.

Everest

paragliding.

lisfranc dislocation fracture.

10 weeks on crutches.  with ice.

violin

what does being "relational" look like, anyways?

kane kaiser.

St. Joe meet: argument and turning point

districts.  regionals. one match away.

broken camera.

team leader

teaching misssions class.

Broken TV and an extra power supply board.

thirteen?!

new bike for boo.

looking for medicene at 2AM in fulton on anniversary.

nepal. twice.

the spiritual Eisenhower of Nepal.

taking my son to nepal.

Switching to Benettis and cafe breve

sharing christ to bikash with Daniel in pokhara

class 4-5 white water rafting the upper seti, in the himilayas, at the start of monsoon season

swim season

Rising early. Driving with coffee.

first massage ever.

B2 stealth bomber messed up Daniel's race

Galaxy tab no more

Cooking with the kids.

new roof from state farm.

zen body therapy

grandma chambers passed away. 

okc visit.

grandma's sister is awesome.

built front porch roof.  with friends and the kids.

elisa can cut a board.

mentoring

KJV research and teaching

decompression therapy

communication, compassion, understanding

learning the importance of fathers.

Hogpound brown and friends at McCoys

daniel framing

bike wreck with SUV.

Stupid Conan.

master cleanse

Ren Fest

backpacking with all the kids

cigars

diving in the freezing cold rocky falls

Best. Etoufee. Ever.

marital growth

teaching electrical to daniel and adrian

the entmoot.

Judo practices.

3^rd BB for the year.

taking over security team.

Lots of Langley overnights

Thanksgiving in Branson

Running 6 miles in the Ozark Mountains

Praising God for healing

Crazy marriage counselling.

Wrestling practice at Raytown

kidney stone and car wreck

Elisa's violin performance with Joe

i hate mudding

listening to the girls plot their room upgrades

finishing the bedroom

Crazy christmas eve service

Relaxing Christmas even and Christmas day

teaching Paul how to build a better capp

rock band 3!

family time

Fidels.

 And for the coming year: the big question is, where the Mayans right?  Well I've got other, smaller question too, and a few things noteworthy of celebration to look forward to.

2012

Justin and Rachel!

New Orleans!

Another Neitzey?  Another Latore?

high school or home school?

Nepal for Daniel, again?

Orissa for me?

Romania for Li?

Branson half-Ironman 2012?

New car?

more teaching?

marriage ministry?

kidtown?

security?

Hiking the OT: Lessons learned

Back in "the day", I remember hiking always being a simple affair.   My pack never weighed much more than 20 lbs and that would include fresh foods, often some canned foods, and a small cast iron frying pan.   It still baffles me how I was able to do that.

Fast forward to over ten years and three children later...  Every trip I've taken in the last several years I've also taken my son.  This time, I brought the girls, and one of their friends.  Every trip since those blissful, lightweight days, I've had to learn some lessons.  In the last six years of trips, I've come to appreciate the value of a lightweight pack and a hastily prepared meal, even if it lacks flavor.  But this time, with three little girls in tow, wow: there were lots of lessons to learn!  As every, this blog is for me and me alone so I record my thoughts here to supplement my always strained memory.  But if this helps anyone else out then great!

Lesson #1: It's not enough to prepare the equipment for the kids; you've got to prepare the kids for the equipment.
  Too ill-fitting packs and too much weight and bedeviled us for the first day.  About halfway to our destination, we made some good progress on the fit of each pack, but those were all work-arounds.   Backpacks work by directing the weight of it's contents to a persons hip bones.  None of the hip belts were tight enough for any of the girls!   Fortunately they each brought a hoodie or sweater that could be tied around their waist to help "shim" the belts, but it took some practice to get this down for each one of them.  Also fortunately, the weather didn't turn cool enough that they actually needed to wear these.
  Also I didn't stick close-enough to the 20% rule.   The 20% rule dictates that you don't carry more than 20% of your body weight in your backpack.   While this is a "rule of thumb" for adults, it's an absolute law for the kids!  The 2nd day went much better since we had eaten all of our food and were able to move a lot of the extra weight from the girls packs to my own, which ended up at 40 lbs


Lesson #2: Teaching time was required in advance
  Aside from working the physical details out ahead of time, I should have invested some time with each of the girls during the weeks prior to the trip teaching them about maintaining and using their packs and equipment.  This would've expedited the camp tear-down.
  But more than then how-to's of packing and camping, we should have also spent time talking about team work, facing difficulties and expectations.   A couple of afternoon practice hikes, accompanied by some conversation, would've provided an great teaching platform for this.  Following up with an evening fire and some hot coco or apple cider would be a great finish.
  Expectations should have been established.   For an adventure such as this, the upward-outward-inward model fits.  An appreciation for nature, it's beauties and dangers, as well as what it teaches about the Author of nature directs us upward.  The strengthening of the bonds of friendship through a common experience, shared trials and teamwork directs us outward.  Learning your personal limits and being forced to surpass them teaches us about ourselves.  This understanding would have provided some great context for the kids.

Lesson #3: Responsibilities should have been delegated ahead of time.
Isn't this always a critical point of failure in leadership?!  There was so much to do to prepare that it was quite overwhelming.   There was quite a bit to do at camp also and I had way underutilized my sons abilities.  Practice sessions from Lesson #2 would naturally lend themselves to delegation.   Had the burdens of camp been more thoughtfully identified and shared, our entire second day would have been much easier than it turned out to be.

Lesson #4:  Girls are different
  This is the first trail I ever brought my son on.  It was tough, but he did great and had a great time.  This is the first trail my good friend ever brought his son on, and it went about the same.  For both of our boys, the difficulty of the experience installed confidence in them.   After the trip, they had a feeling of accomplishment.  On this trip, with the older girls, this seems to have been the case; but with the younger ones I'm not as sure.  It will take some time to sort that out- did the difficulty actually act to discourage them?  Or do they just need more moral support than the boys required?  

Lesson #5: More time to prepare
  In order to implement the aforementioned lessons, it would have been necessary to begin planning at least three months prior to the date, and preparations, including the teaching sessions, at least six weeks prior.  During the two weeks prior, as my wife and I were gathering up equipment for everyone, it became painfully obvious we were getting into the game late.   All my previous experiences were inadequate for me to have predicted these lessons-learned.   Experience is, after all, the best teacher.

  There were many positive lessons-learned as well.   The packing list was in good order, thank God!  Had it not been, we might not have been able to have compensated for some of the planning deficiencies.  The time of year was absolutely perfect.  The mileage was right on target for a group like this.   If seen both bad weather and high mileage break down grown men.   A mistake on either of those points would have been catastrophic for this team!  The itinerary was spot-on (we just didn't stick to it on day two!).  My personal pack-weight, while a bit heavier than I preferred, was great.  It included some great meals and accommodated me being able to pick up weight from the girls.  And Lamberts is always a good call.

  The best part, by far, was the team.  The men, including my son, were exceptionally patient through many trying moments and ready to pitch in and help with whatever needed to be done with not a single complaint murmured from them.   At least not to me ;-)  All in all it was a great trip and I'm already excited for the next one.

Eye of the storm?

The major symptoms seem to have subsided for now.  It was nice to wake up from a restful nights sleep and not have a headache at all today.  On the other hand, my appetite has picked up quite a bit and hunger pangs have been a bigger issue.  The lack of pain and nausea also means that my mind is more free to think about food!  Glorious food!  

Right now, I could really go for some Fritos and french onion dip.   Definitely one of the biggest challenges thus far was to prepare the family dinner... and then watch them eat!  Braised beef served aloft a mountain of veggies with the drippings cooked down to a nice sauce and drizzled over the whole lot... it smelled heavenly.  I think I really nailed the proportions of the veggies, too.  I tend to use too much onion a lot of time but this had a more balanced look to it.  No complaints from the fam as they stuffed their mouths in front of me.

This Sucks

Possible symptoms of detoxification kicked in hard last night.  Hard like a punch to the face from Kimbo Slice.  Hard like flying into an SUV at 15+mph while on a bike.  I won't divulge all the nasty details, but the most debilitating one is the chronic, splitting headache.  It abated for part of the day but came back in force this evening, about an hour later than when it first hit last night.  Also the drink is becoming far less tolerable.  Even with the lime, I was unable to chug down the last little bit I took a run at.   But I'm going to go for one more day... like a recovering drug addict, I'll just have to take this day-by-day.

Okay, I'll mention one nasty detail.  I'm tired of playing "Fart or Explosive Diarrhea?"  I always take the safe bet on that one.

Mystery Drink Revealed!

Today was the day.  After three days of 'easing in' to this regimen, I finally have begun the full-on lemonade diet.   Actually lemonade fast seems more appropriate, and I think would help dispel any myth that this is for weight loss.  Nonetheless, my first encounters with 'the drink' were not pleasant.  The after taste of the grade-b maple syrup was what rubbed me wrong.   Also, it was difficult to be at church while my mind was in such a heavy, low Calorie induced fog.  But we persevered... past the donut platter, replete with manifold baked goodies... past the fresh, brewed pots of Oddly Correct coffee... For some reason, home made pot-stickers and sushi rolls were set out today: an MBT first!   But we persevered... then all hell brake loose!  Chocolate cupcakes and a large chocolate sheet cake whose thick, moist bread was somewhat squashed under the weight of so much icing, settling o'er the top like a freshly fallen, heavy snow snow... But we persevered...

So far I have downed 3 cups of concentrated concoction.   I've already figured out that I don't need to dilute it nearly so much as recommended: that only prolongs the torture.   Just now, I've mixed up a new batch, another 2 cups.  But this time I added a single lime in place of one lemon.  Wow!  What a difference that makes!  The overall flavor us much, much better and the strong tartness of the lime even overwhelms the finish so that the drink is now beyond tolerable.

I guess this guy had it right all along.

Mmmmmm... Paaaaancakes!

The smell of fresh, buttered pancakes roasting on the hot griddle even now is wafting from the kitchen over to the computer, where I am mostly through with an 8oz. glass of orange-pineapple-mango juice.  Or, as it is known today: breakfast.  There are 120 Cal per serving and a total of 7 servings in the 1.8qt carton of juice, or about half of the daily caloric intake that I need.   I suppose I may run up to the store and grab another.  Today is only juice, but not the full-on "lemonade diet".   It's going to be a rough day.  

Yesterday was only pulpy liquids, soups and juices.   No chewing allowed!   Thankfully there was no limit to quantity.  Two bottles of naked juice; one fresh, juice blend from the Filling station; three cans of soup; two martinis and at least a gallon and a half of Crystal Light drink saw me through the day.  It's amazing how much a person thinks about food when they aren't having any!

My beginning weigh-in yesterday was around 180lb, with 22% body fat and hydration of 57%.  This morning it was 177lb, 23% body fat and a hydration of 56%.  Go figure: after all that liquid I am now less hydrated than when I began!

Echo

Hello?  Hello?  Is this thing working?   *cough*   Whew!  It's a bit dusty.  Guess I should blog more often.  Or perhaps not.

I'm sitting here at Benetti's, taking a break from some angry coding and contemplating my last decaf breve.   Benetti's by far has the *best* decaf around, and they're right up there with their regular caps as well.  By why 'the last', you ask?  Just for a couple of weeks while I undertake an endeavor to complete... The Master Cleanse.  Thanks to Percussivity for telling me about this and how it not only jump started his weight loss but helped him feel quite a bit better.

Since I'm waiting for my ribs to heal up from being-tackled-by-an-SUV while biking incident, this seems like the perfect time to give it a shot.  Otherwise I'll just begin to plump up to portray a realistic Santa Claus this December.   Damned M&M's...   I'm not only hoping for weight control/loss during my down time, but I'm curious to see what sorts of other things might happen.  The internets are full of first-person testimonials of people who felt they benefitted from doing this.  So we'll see.  
So today begins the "ease-in": no meats, no dairy.  Well, just a little dairy... one, small decaf breve.  Tomorrow will be juice only and then Sat. begins the "real deal".

Hot Wings

Used this recipe:

http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/sweet-spicy-wings/Detail.aspx

Only I used garlic powder, instead of salt, since I tend to shy away from salt.  Also we had to settle of oven-baked instead of grilled.   They cooked at 350 for 20 min and then we flipped them, added more sauce to the under side and cooked them another 10 min.   They were awesome!  I'm a big fan of the hot and sour combo.

*Yawn*

Has it been that long since I've posted?  I even missed my annual Year-In-Review!!!  Hmm...

A bit of humor

There were two "ladies" who, I believe, slept throughout most of the voir dire. Unbelievable! One lawyer asked 95% of the questions, the other had the chance to tend to any loose ends. Finally, the first lawyer returned to examine the two sleepyheads. The first was as defiant as she was inarticulate. It would have been humerous to watch her go off to the brig to cool her heels for a bit but alas, I think they are just glossing over it. The second was not as surly and tried to blame her work. I don't think she realized that her job can't hold this against her.

During the morning swearing in, the judge led in an oath that ended with "so help me God". He said they had another, irreligious version for anyone who wanted. "Anybody? Anybody?". No takers I thought it was a great way to shame any potential atheists.

Not looking good

The case is about an accident that happened roughly one block from where I live. Also, City lawyers will be testifying as well as the chiropractor I go to. Bummer! I was really hoping to get the nod! They haven't selected yet, but I don't think its's looking too good.

Into the belly of the beast

The courtroom is all about humiliation. First you are assigned a number, then a seat whereupon a large placard with your number is placed. I am a person, dammit! I will not be... Enumerated? Nmberfied? Once I took my seat, I realized my feet didn't touch the ground. These seats are oversized for Anakims reaching heights of at *least* six foot. Clearly this was designed to make me feel like a child. And so the psychological breakdown continued for the judge sits aloft, looking down on the nameless children. Oh and it gets worse: the judge is a woman. A female judge?! And the lawyers? Also females! The plantiff? Woman. And the defedant? Egads! Another woman! Its as though I walked onto the set of The View. I must go back, after a salad at Quiznos, and a suprise lunch with an old friend from KCBT, for what I expect to be more psychological abuse.

Yes!

I've been called to a panel! Made the first cut... Now on to voir dire- an interview of sorts.

Nothing to report here...

The first two hours we were provided with live entertainment and a video. By entertainment, I mean instructions. We were given the same set of instructions and explanations thrice, each time according to the speakers own particular....hmmm... Idiom! The video featured local famous dude and former baseballer G. Brett and local newsies Elisabeth Alex and Brian Busbie. The judge was actually the most interesting. He also administered the oath to us (about which I have somewhat to share in a bit). Then we had a 30 minute Starbucks break (mmm, pumpkin spice!) Followed by 40 minutes of instructionless sitting about while the herd was being thinned of those who felt they had valid excuses to be poor citizens. I put that time to good use and plodded forward into reading about the fall of the Third Reich and Operation Barbarossa. Oooh! We're being instructed now! Waiting for my name to be called to be part of a panel.

Looking good?

Given that I want to be selected, "good" in this sense means getting to be off work a few more days. Since most people are, apparently, lobbying to not be here. That should give me a good start. There were 12 cases scheduled for this week and normally 90% of cases are settled prior to a hearing. But only 5 have been settled so far. So a limited pool and a big case load means things are looking up.

And speaking of looking, why does the lady next to me keep looking over at my phone while I type? These people are doing their damndest to drive me nuts.

Jury Duty

For the first time in months, I got someplace on time. Even a bit early actually. I don't miss 71 highway with its accident-causing, revenue-raising lights. I don't think it was any faster than side streets, either. I found a place to park for free and within a mile of the courthouse. The day, being moderately cool and full of sun, made for a pleasant walk. After breezing through security, I found a comfy seat at the back of the jurors room with elbow room on both sides. That is, until Darth Vader came and set next me. He's shed his royal armor and has chosen to serve as a "regular" guy, but his breathing is unmistakeable. If the elevator ride is what put him out so much, methinks that *somebody* needs to step up their cardio. Ugh.

Bringing in the cones

This was the second year for a Cascade hops plant that I put in the ground. Last year was very disappointing in that the vines only got to about four feet long each and produced no cones. However, I wasn't really expecting any from the first year and didn't have much expectation for this year either, since the plant has to get established.

But much to my suprise, by mid-June it started producing cones! And by July it began producing an unruly amount of lateral vines which each produced numerous cones. Just this last weekend, it was time to bring in the harvest, as the intense period of heat we just had had already begun to dry them out.

Above, the vines are covering most of the side of our gazebo swing.

The vine along the top, which is showing discoloration and fading, is the first vine from the spring. The lower vine is actually a shoot from off of the top one. There were a lot of cones on that lower vine!

Even along the back where the sun exposure wasn't as good, there were still plenty of cones.

This is a poor shot, but I'm attempting to show the yellow, powdery substance that is produced between the leaves of each cone. This is called lupulin, and it's what gives hops- and in turn beers- their flavor.


The net weight of this year's production was just over eight ounces of green, only somewhat dried hops. Right now they are sitting on a window screen in the garage, drying out, down to eight to ten percent of the moisture they once had. Then they will go into cold storage until what time they are ready to be added to the hot wort for finishing, courtesy of brewmeister Neufeld. I can't wait to try them out in a few months!

India-bound

Back in Oct of 2009, a missionary to India and Nepal spoke at a prayer service at our church. At that time, I had been doing some long range planning to take my wife on some exotic vacation for our 15th anniversary coming up in 2010. But the missionary announced he was organizing a missions trip in 2010. That announcement grabbed my attention and I spent the next two months mulling it over. Because of the nature of the trip, I wanted to make this decision with my wife- which meant foregoing any surprise- so I gave her a choice: we can either go on a vacation just for us, or we can go on this missions trip. She didn’t hesitate: it was the missions trip all the way!

It didn’t seem fitting to me, though, that we would just “decide” we would go on a trip. I have been on numerous trips of this nature before and always clearly saw God directing me in them. The clearest direction I ever had with this was in 1991 when the still, small voice of God told me “You’re going to Kenya.” My immediate reaction, as a broke, nineteen year old college student with really no interest in going anywhere was “Ha! I’m not going to Kenya- that’s ridiculous!” Six months later, I was on my first trans-Atlantic flight. God had directed and provided. Knowing that God is “in” something gives a person unparalleled confidence no matter what circumstances arise. So in Dec, we began praying that the Lord would confirm to us that this was Him.

In January, I went ahead and signed up for the trip, thinking “If God shows us otherwise, we’ll just back out.” About a week or two later, they announced that the trip was now full and on a waiting list. By the middle of Feb, we had all the money saved up to pay for the entire trip. We already had our passports as well, so everything was coming together. The door was wide open, but I was still waiting to hear that still, small voice once more. But nothing.

The weeks turned into months and still no clear-cut word. My wife began struggling through the process and God kept telling her “abide”. So she did. At another point she began to worry about the money but eventually she realized that God would provide if He’s in it. In short, she was growing through this process. Of course I was growing too; mostly frustrated. We soldiered on in prayer.

Then a deadline of April 1st was announced. Deposits, passports and applications had to be turned in for the trip. To me, this was D-Day. Either I hear from God or we don’t go. As we got closer to that date, God was showing me things in His Word but I wasn’t getting the binary “yes/no” that I was looking for. Over the course of the last couple of weeks, He showed me much that led me to see that we need to go. I didn’t get the “yes/no” answer I was looking for, what I got was more “if you want it, go and take it”. That sounds a bit Machiavellian… let me explain!

There is a scene in Full Metal Jacket when the inept Pvt. “Pyle” gets his gut stuck on an obstacle. The drill sergeant approaches him and shouts: “Oh that’s right Pvt. Pyle, don’t make any *** effort to get up to the top of the obstacle! If God wanted you up there, he would’ve miracled your ass up there by now, would’nt he?!” I think a lot of times Christians put too much on God and don’t realize what He has actually put on us. In everything the Lord showed me, God gave His people an imperative. They had a choice to make.

In Rev 2:5, Christ counsels the angel of the church at Ephesus: “Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen and repent, and do the first works;” Remember, Repent, Revive. That’s what I got from this time. Here are the highlights:

Remember: “remember from whence thou art fallen”

Rev 2:4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

Ezekiel 16:22 …thou hast not remembered the days of thy youth, when thou wast naked and bare, and wast polluted in thy blood.

16:43: Because thou hast not remembered the days of thy youth, but hast fretted me in all these things…

Ezekiel 16 is what directed me to Rev 2, where the church is chided for leaving its first love. Israel had forgotten. They forgot the bondage they came from and they forgot the work of God in their lives. So they drifted off into sin. The first challenge from Rev 2 is to remember where Christ brought them from, how he brought them out and to serve Him with that same sense of joy and excitement they had in the early days. This was a command: they had to decide to remember.

Repent

Ezekiel 18:31 Cast away from you all your transgressions whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit…

Psalms 78:8 And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright; and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.

“Make” a new heart and a new spirit?! I thought that was God’s job! But once again, God’s people had a decision to make. Repentance is simply a ‘change of mind’. God tasked them with changing their hearts by changing their minds. The church at Ephesus was tasked with repenting from their loveless service. The key to that was to begin by remembering.

Revive: “do the first works”

Hab 3:2 O Lord, I have heard thy speech, and was afraid: O Lord, revive thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make known; in wrath remember mercy.

Israel was being slack in rebuilding when Habakkuk came to them. Here, he asks for a revival… of the work! “Get back to work” was the message he had for them. God had already started a work, but “they” needed to get busy finishing it. Hence the “re” in revival. The church in Ephesus needed to get back to their first love. They, too, needed a revival. Not a revival of building but of love.

So after seeing all that, I was thinking “This is exactly where I’m at.” I, as a middle aged dude, have a lot in common with those Ephesians. I’m busy- there’s a lot to do. I’m generally consistent and disciplined. I go where I’m supposed to go to do what I’m supposed to do and I know the “right” things to do and, after a while, it doesn’t really take any thought. Life’s “autopilot” kicks in. But then you realize, you’re just sort of drifting. Nothing’s really wrong but then, nothing’s really quite right either. I’d like to get back to that “first love” I had about half-my-life-ago but I have to make a choice: God will not just “miracle” my ass back up there! So I choose to empty our savings and drag my wife halfway across the world for two weeks, on the day after Christmas no less, because I desire to serve the Lord from my heart and I believe that He will use this in my life to accomplish that. I am purposefully turning off the autopilot and trusting God to help me “make” a new heart and spirit.